The Oscars or How I Took 50 Photos Of Ryan Seacrest and Zero of Matt Damon
I think my title says it all. One would think that when going to the Academy Awards two cameras and an iPhone would be enough.
Tragically, one would be wrong.
I did not get a picture of Matt Damon or Meryl Streep because they had the odacity to show up after I'd taken 175 pictures of Mary Hart and Ryan Seacrest because they were all we had for hours while we baked in the sun on aluminum bleachers and then my batteries died. All of them.
Moving on! Because I'm not bitter. Much.
I've just returned from the Oscars and am now in bed with my multiple cameras downloading over 500 photos for your viewing pleasure. It'll be like you were there! Except you got to sit on your butt and eat taquitos with your friends!
Meanwhile all I got was this...
This is my friend, George. Maybe you've heard of him?
Heh.
I should also add that I touched someone who touched him. So, I think we're getting married.
I can honestly say that being at The Oscars was pretty much what I expected. Alot of red tape. No, I mean alot of red tape. There were so many streets blocked off and so much security that we practically had to be lowered into our seats by helicopter.
Then there was the heat. My God, THE HEAT. As soon as we took our seats on the aluminum bleachers, we knew we were in trouble. Sugar Jones and I immediately started stripping. Okay, maybe that was just me. She just glistened attractively.
Here we are pretending to be happy while we bitch on Twitter.
Respect The Badge.(If you didn't have one of these you got punched in the throat. True story. ...I bet.)
Now! Without further ado I present you with what you've all not been waiting for.
The Awards Within The Academy Awards.
Not only was Charlize Theron's dress a big hell to the no, but she wasn't all that friendly either. I cannot imagine why not since we were all screaming her name like stalker lunatics.
Celeb Who Gave Me My Most Starstruck Moment
Sarah Jessica Parker. Or as I like to call her because I tend to blur reality and fiction pretty convincingly, Carrie.
Friendliest Celeb
Tina Fey BY FAR. She was so awesome you could just tell she wanted to run up into the bleachers and share a diet Coke with you.
Celeb I Like But Am Still Confused Why
Ryan Seacrest or as I call him now, BATTERY KILLER.
Celeb I Seriously Considered Rushing
Sam Worthington. Those cheeks need pinching, that's all I know.
Celeb That Makes Me Think "Why Even Try?"
Penelope Cruz is absolutely stunning. But, you probably knew that. Be glad you don't know it AS WELL AS I NOW DO.
Celeb I Couldn't Wait To Tell My Husband About
Quentin Tarantino in the house.
Celeb I Couldn't Wait To Tell My 8-year-old About
Miley Cyrus
In this category we have a tie, with the award also going to yummy Zac Efron. (Can I call him yummy? Is that weird? ...Or illegal?)
Look at that lady behind him. She's totally thinking the same thing you are. Knock it off, both of you.
Celeb Who Is Probably Kicking Herself Right Now For Not Thanking Her Husband In Her Acceptance Speech
Oscar Winner (!) Sandra Bullock
Celeb Most Likely To Fit In Your Purse
Nicole Richie. Two words: Sand Wich.
Celeb Who Clearly Already Knew She Was an Oscar Winner
Mo'Nique. I think she's telling Penelope Cruz she may as well go home here.
Celeb Who Made Me Feel Super Nostalgic (and also consider going red)
Molly Ringwald. She was there to do a John Hughes tribute and can I just say? She got more love from the Bleacher Fans than most of the A-Listers. Take that, Charlize. Also? Well done on the Plus One, Molly.
Celeb Who Most Definitely Had a Pre-Oscar Cocktail
Mariah Carey. I think she's mid-sway here.
Biggest Display of Girl Star Power
Oscar nominees Penelope Cruz, Vera Framiga, and Anna Kendrick. (Meryl Streep was steps away as well. Can you just take my word for it? Damn Ryan Seacrest!)
Celeb Who Made It Most Awkward With His Attempts To Get My Attention
Seriously, Ryan Reynolds. You're relentless.
"Lena, meet me inside."Celebs Who Were Not Photographed By Me Because I Clearly Do Not Grasp the Concept of Pacing Myself...Or Waiting...Or Blinking "Low Battery" Lights On My Camera
Meryl Streep
Robert Downey Jr.
Matt Damon
Cameron Diaz
Non-Celeb Blogger Who Just Had One of the Most Amazing Experiences of Her Life
I win!
***Thank you thank you thank you to Kodak for not only the invite, but for catering to us and making us feel like mini celebs. I think Kodak just recently started reaching out to bloggers and I'm telling you, if you get the opportunity to work with them, jump at it.
***All photos taken with my new Kodak Z950 EasyShare (provided by Kodak), which has the zoom power to make a stalker proud.
posted by Lena at 7:37 AM
14 Comments:
I would say it's perfectly NATURAL to describe Zac Efron as yummy - and that's from me, almost old enough to be his mother (god help me). I still swoon (discreetly - wouldn't want my 8 and almost-6 year olds to think I'm weird) every time I watch "Hairspray". And yes, I did say "every time I watch" because yes, I watch it a lot. For the music, the happiness, the dancing and, of course, for the delicious ZAC...
Okay, this is me being weird, but the part in Sandra B's speech "which allowed me to have that" is when she pointed to her hubby. So she KINDA thanked him.
And now I feel weird that I loved her acceptance speech that much.
Glad you had so much fun!!!
I still wish Ryan Reynolds would have gone topless for the Oscars....that would have been my vision for him.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Zac Efron. To an embarassing degree.
Also, no pictures of Robert Downey Jr.? How can you even go on?
EVERY TIME Miley Cyrus appeared on screen my five year old FREAKED out. Seriously.
What an awesome experience!! and I LOVE your recap. Damned Ryan Seacrest indeed..
You made me jealous & smile in a non fake I hate you kind of way. What else is new. lol
Glad you had a great time!
I am so SO jealous that Ryan Reynolds wanted you. I mean, for reals, yo. You can totally tell he does.
I gotta say - you looked mah-velous on Sunday. GREAT photos!
sandi totally thanked her hubby.. YOU DON'T LISTEN LENA!!!
and zac efron is beyond adorable.. such a sweetheart and just such a cutie.. how can you not love him
You're so cute. And wow- Celebrities are not as attractive without airbrushing. Wrinkles much?
wow.
i am both super jealous AND impressed. i didn't even get to WATCH the Oscars this year bc my cable provider and ABC are currently in a money war so they pulled all coverage.
thanx letting me live it thru u!
That's awesome. Great write-up! (Or should I say, "picture-up?") Zac is a cutie for sure. Oh, and just for the records, my friends and I had sushi.
I had the "brilliant" idea to host a Fried Food Fest/Oscars party, which meant I missed the entire Red Carpet trying to get breadcrumbs to stick to mozzarella sticks - but now I feel like I was there. You are better than E!
Post a Comment
<< Home